25yrs already over?

"..... this time XXyrs ago was the happiest day of my life.... my first baby girl was born..." this is what I get every 19th of December 1st thing in the morning from my mother..... whether I was in Malta, Belgium, Egypt... and now Libya. The one-way conversation then goes on about how blessed I am and lucky I am to be in the world..... the the story goes on about how my mother was told that having children is risky cause of her back problems........ prayed to St Joseph on the 19th of March (the feast of St Joseph and the patron saint of my mother and father), conceived me on that day and 9months later, 19th of December I was born...... yes I get this year after year for the past 25yrs......

25 is somehow your target age when you are a child.... what will I look like at 25? how rich will I be by 25? what would my husband look like? would my kid be a girl or a boy? what job would I have etc etc....

15yrs ago, I somehow always imagined that by 25, I'd be married (very important that the husband was rich and loving), with a kid, a nice house by the sea..... and a job a primary school teacher (at that age I figured its the best job you could ever have, cause you get to have paid summer holidays and work from 8 to 2!!!!). I seem to have shattered my childhood dream, as I haven't managed to achieve any of the above..... no husband let alone children....... not enough money saved to buy all the windows a big house required, let alone buy the whole house........ and finally there is no way I'd be a primary school teacher.... can you imagine me dealing with the same kids for a year?? You'd find them flying out of the school window.....

However, In these past 25 years I've managed

- to finish the planned life of primary school, secondary school, sixth form and finally graduate from University. I can still remember the tears my mother shed when she drove me to the university to get my application papers.......... At the age of 10 your primary goal is to get to university and get a degree and wear the gown and throw your hat in the air, when that happens you are stuck with the question - 'And now what???' - I somehow omitted that phase between the 'And now what?' and the living happily every after with a kid and big house..... so.... more tears for my mother, and at the age of 21 I decided to wonder off and see what else the world has to offer....

- so that is how I ended up in Belgium.... I loved my time in Belgium. It not only gave me the chance to discover myself, to grow, to prove to myself that I can do it on my own, but it also gave me the chance to meet amazing people.... from whom I've learnt a great lot and discovered who I really am....... Living in that house in Scharbeek has opened my eyes to the world and its people..... One year in Belgium turned out to be two years.... Living in the middle of Europe also gives you the added value of being within a stone throw's away from all the major cities in Europe, which I totally took advantage of...

- next year I went to Egypt.... to discover another part of the world.... another childhood dream crossed off the list..... WOW!!! I had always wanted to go to the land of the Pharaohs.... but my God, Egypt has was more to offer than Pyramids, Mummies and Temples..... Egypt is a massive fountain of marvels!!!! The weekends in the Red Sea or relaxing and marvelling at multicoloured fish, the days in the desert overcoming my hate of sand and feeling one with yourself, felucca rides on the nile with the guitar playing the background, sheesha and strawberry juice in the men's Ahwa.... and much more..... also adding the wonderful friendly Egyptians..... and the memorable times with Tom. Egypt is also a massive fountain of knowledge..... there I learnt about the world, about Islam, about life, society and culture. I learnt how to understand, tolerate, accept and how to respect...... and finally how to fight for what I really want!!!

- then I got to chance to discovered the undiscovered!!!!! - Ethiopia - at 10yrs I knew Ethiopia existed cause my mother always made me eat my food 'cause the children in Ethiopia are dying of Hunger' (it later became after for my sister... but anyway) - so who'd imagine that I'd be spending 5 months in that country..... Ethiopia was another eye opener.... a glimpse of what the rest of the 3rd world is passing through, what many of the countries in the African continent were experiencing. I saw in Ethiopia things I'd have never dreamt of seeing in person..... and heard things I'd never dreamt of hearing from the actual people......

- finally my 25yr mark is here in Libya.... what did I think of Libya when I was 10.... I don't think I'd want to share it here, as I think I'd be very ashamed to say it right now......

25 is a weird age..... You feel too old to hang out with people 21 down, and too young to hangout with people 30 above, however you feel psychologically torn between wanting to be young again and thus act 21 down and be old an mature and act 30 above..... when you're 25 you have a sort of double personality..... or rather that is how I'm feeling at this point in time.... I want to hang out with my work colleagues, join in the high profile intelligent conversations and enjoy drinks such as rum, brandy and whisky and on the other hand I also want to be able to go to pubs stuff myself with pints of beer, dance like I'm alone and perform acts of drunken foolishness ......

So now the first quarter of the century is over, heading into the 26th year and 2nd quarter..... what's in store for me???..... definitely no money to buy a house..... but surely money to see more of the world..... more of the middle east and Africa, definitely India, Pakistan and Nepal and possibly east Asia..... and learn more.... no husbands as yet..... but still open for romances ; )...... definitely no kids unless they can be switched on and off, packed into suitcases and don't require attention and money.........

Although I'm here in Libya, celebrating a slightly miserable birthday.... no parties, beers, pubs or close friends (the people I hang out with already left to spend Xmas at home) and where the highlight of the day was driving up to Tripoli overcoming the crazy driving and buying cookies for the people at work..... I feel rich with all the friends I have all over the world, all the birthday wishes, phone calls, SMSs, and E-mails from people I had thought forgot about me!!!!! and happy with the inner wealth my experiences have enriched me with......

So now I'll cuddle up with all my riches and enjoy my nice Libyan sweets....